Weight

Oh a topic I struggle with yet know so much about. Since the age of about 12 I have struggled with weight. I have wished and dreamed for skinny genes but I just simply don't have them. So instead I have gone on and off diets since I was in middle school. In high school I was so athletic I didn't worry that much. Then I went to college and gained 45 pounds my freshman year. It was then I knew weight would be my life's battle. 

So all through my late teens and early to mid 20's I went up and down and dieted off and on.  Then I got pregnant with Jolie and that is where my weight just spiraled out of control. I gained over 60lbs while pregnant, it was an awful feeling to get on the scale at my OB appointments. I had this crazy idea that once I had her weight would just melt off and all of a sudden I would just be skinny again, needless to say when Jolie was about 3 months old and I was heavier than when I got pregnant that dream died.  Fast forward through another pregnancy (at least I only gained 35 pounds this time), several failed diets, one crash diet that somehow took off 60lbs (and I have kept them off for nearly 2 years), 2 hernia repair surgeries that gets us to today. 

When I went for this second hernia surgery (about a month ago) the doctor had one of the most honest conversations about weight with me I have ever had in my entire life. The doctor flat told me if I did this repair and didn't want to be redoing it again then I had to stay the weight I was on the day of surgery or less the rest of my life. Wow, I have to say that scared me beyond belief. This dr was telling a girl who struggled with weight her entire adult life she couldn't gain a pound. This was crazy talk!  I was more scared about the weight then the surgery. I spent the month between when I met with the doctor and my scheduled surgery not worrying about weight. I figured I would give myself the highest number possible, just in case. So I had the surgery, was in the hospital for three days, came home and it was then that I freaked out. How in the world was I really going to do this?  How was I can make myself the person I wanted to be for so long but had failed at so many times?  I thought about and like any modern women would do I started researching from my iPhone as I laid in bed recovering. I knew at the beginning it wasn't going to be about some elaborate workout schedule, because I couldn't work out at least not yet and let's face it I don't have a ton of free time. So I kept thinking and researching. And then it came to me....I have my iPhone all the time, I use it for everything anyways. Why not make it a part of my journey?  So that's what I did, I started downloading every diet/calorie counting app I could find that was either free or offered a free trial. One by one I tested them out and I finally settled last week on the one to use. It is Lose It and so far I love it. It counts calories for me, it gives me a budget of calories every day while taking into account my goal, which at this point it is get under where I have to be. I tell it if/when I exercise. I can even look up food on menus at fast food restaurants and chains. It is perfect for me. I know someone else out there needs help with this topic so I am sharing my story one little tidbit at a time. You will never see me post actual numbers because frankly I am just not that open, my husband doesn't even know exactly how much I weight. But I will share some updates as I lose. I am down a few pounds since surgery, I will know for sure when I step on the dr's scale on Thursday. Below is a snapshot of the app I am using. Feel free to join me, having friends on the same mission makes these life hurdles seem a little easier!