Weight

Oh a topic I struggle with yet know so much about. Since the age of about 12 I have struggled with weight. I have wished and dreamed for skinny genes but I just simply don't have them. So instead I have gone on and off diets since I was in middle school. In high school I was so athletic I didn't worry that much. Then I went to college and gained 45 pounds my freshman year. It was then I knew weight would be my life's battle. 

So all through my late teens and early to mid 20's I went up and down and dieted off and on.  Then I got pregnant with Jolie and that is where my weight just spiraled out of control. I gained over 60lbs while pregnant, it was an awful feeling to get on the scale at my OB appointments. I had this crazy idea that once I had her weight would just melt off and all of a sudden I would just be skinny again, needless to say when Jolie was about 3 months old and I was heavier than when I got pregnant that dream died.  Fast forward through another pregnancy (at least I only gained 35 pounds this time), several failed diets, one crash diet that somehow took off 60lbs (and I have kept them off for nearly 2 years), 2 hernia repair surgeries that gets us to today. 

When I went for this second hernia surgery (about a month ago) the doctor had one of the most honest conversations about weight with me I have ever had in my entire life. The doctor flat told me if I did this repair and didn't want to be redoing it again then I had to stay the weight I was on the day of surgery or less the rest of my life. Wow, I have to say that scared me beyond belief. This dr was telling a girl who struggled with weight her entire adult life she couldn't gain a pound. This was crazy talk!  I was more scared about the weight then the surgery. I spent the month between when I met with the doctor and my scheduled surgery not worrying about weight. I figured I would give myself the highest number possible, just in case. So I had the surgery, was in the hospital for three days, came home and it was then that I freaked out. How in the world was I really going to do this?  How was I can make myself the person I wanted to be for so long but had failed at so many times?  I thought about and like any modern women would do I started researching from my iPhone as I laid in bed recovering. I knew at the beginning it wasn't going to be about some elaborate workout schedule, because I couldn't work out at least not yet and let's face it I don't have a ton of free time. So I kept thinking and researching. And then it came to me....I have my iPhone all the time, I use it for everything anyways. Why not make it a part of my journey?  So that's what I did, I started downloading every diet/calorie counting app I could find that was either free or offered a free trial. One by one I tested them out and I finally settled last week on the one to use. It is Lose It and so far I love it. It counts calories for me, it gives me a budget of calories every day while taking into account my goal, which at this point it is get under where I have to be. I tell it if/when I exercise. I can even look up food on menus at fast food restaurants and chains. It is perfect for me. I know someone else out there needs help with this topic so I am sharing my story one little tidbit at a time. You will never see me post actual numbers because frankly I am just not that open, my husband doesn't even know exactly how much I weight. But I will share some updates as I lose. I am down a few pounds since surgery, I will know for sure when I step on the dr's scale on Thursday. Below is a snapshot of the app I am using. Feel free to join me, having friends on the same mission makes these life hurdles seem a little easier!

Veteran's Day

Happy Veteran's Day!  I have to say this year I have thought more about Veteran's Day than any other year of my life. I would like to say that in my old age I have gained perspective but instead I owe my deeper thoughts to my 6 year old. Jolie never ceases to amaze me, she has such a big heart and a forward thinking thought process. On Saturday morning as we got dressed for softball she asked me what our plans for the day were. I explained that we were going to softball and then bath at home and some lunch then a nap for her sister, then maybe we could play a game or watch a Netflix movie but we really didn't have solid plans. She proceeded to explain to me what she wanted to do for the day, this is where my Mommy heart swelled with pride and soared at the young girl she is becoming. She asked if we could go to Welo's house ( Welo is my 92 year old Grandfather) because she wanted to listen to his stories about the Navy and the war. She said it was important to know history and learn the stories of our veterans. It was then that I thought about Veteran's Day in a whole new way. Through my child's eyes I gained perspective on this important day. Today is about more than a day off of work or no mail service. It is about thanking the men and women that have sacrificed their lives to ensure our freedom. It is about listening to the war stories of a proud 92 year old and thanking him. So we didn't go to Welo's house kn Saturday, he had other plans, but we have him an extra hug at the softball field on Saturday morning and we will be calling him today. 

So please join me and my family in thanking a veteran today for all they have giving to make your life better!  I salute all members of the armed forces and their families today, thank you!

Let's Try This Again....

As I am sure anyone who has stopped by my blog can tell I have had several failed attempts at blogging on a regular basis. I have come up with a host of reasons why my blogging never works out. The reasons involve I am just too busy, I don't have that much to say, people don't care what I have to say, and frankly the list could go on for days. So I will just leave it at those reasons. The biggest reason being I just don't have time to get my laptop out everyday and sit down and blog. So I just stopped. Well, I figured since I have started using my iPhone for everything under the sun why can't I blog from it. Well, turns out there is an app for that, I know it's shocking!  Not really but it is making this post, and hopefully the post following this possible. So here I am, giving blogging a try again. I am not going to pressure myself to an everyday post or even every week but just posted when I feel like it for now. So stayed tune. 

So, in order to play catch up here is a quick update on the happenings around here. 

Jolie is 6 and in first grade. She is super smart and a little sassy. She is in gifted at an IB Primary Magnet School and has never brought home a report card with anything other than Principal's Honor Roll. Like her mother she is a bit of a perfectionist and a little dramatic. She plays softball for West Tampa and loves it there. 

Avery will be 3 in December. She is our wild child. She is full of life and says some of the funniest things. She goes to a little Montessori School and is working to finish potty training before her birthday. She has an incredibly large vocabulary she wants to be big like her sister and gets very mad if she can't do something. She is a fit thrower and can turn on the water works to get her way. 

Things with Rich and I don't really change like with the kids so we are pretty much the same as the last time I wrote a blog post. 

Not sure what the posts will look like or really what my plan is for the blog but here is to having some fun!

Hard Day

Today is the three year anniversary of the day my Grandmother died, every year I dread this day, every year I think it will be easier and the pain will be a little less but it isn't, in fact I think it gets a little harder.  As each year passes there are more and more big things that happen in my life that I want her to know all about and the little things start to pile up too. Today I sent my husband a text that went a little something like this...."I miss Wel,it hurts right down to my bones.  I miss her more than even I realize sometimes.  I want her to meet and know Avery. I want her to see how smart, amazing, beautiful, and big Jolie has gotten.  I want her to know the women I have become. I want her to know that I have the same work ethic she instilled in my Dad because he too instilled it in me.  I want to be able to call her because I need a pair of pants hemmed or a dress fixed and know she will gladly do it.  I want her fashion advice that she always got from soap operas. I just miss her and want her back.". I cried when I sent that earlier, I have tears in my eyes now but Rich's response made me laughter...he said "What about my socks?". You see she gave him socks for every occasion and any chanc she got and now he doesn't have the supply he once did. But that's just it...she was kind and thoughtful, and such a part of my life for 30 years that the last 3 without her have seemed long and hard. I know this is all a part of life but a part I know I am not fond of. I will never forget the greatest lesson I ever learned from her and my Grandfather, and that is love, not just any love but forever love.  For 62 years while my grandparents were married he bought her roses for Valentine's Day and she loved it, they weren't wonderful and huge but he went out each and every year and brought her flowers. When she passed away the day before Valentine's day three years ago it was heart breaking to sit with him at the funeral home on Valentine's Day and pick out roses for her casket for Valentine's Day. It was then that I learned what love was, it isn't the little fights, or the date nights, or even the hugs and the kisses, it is the until death do us part and then some. It is going through everything together, the good, the bad, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and still wanting to bring home flowers to your love no matter what. It is the until death do us part...they lived it for 62 years and showed my entire family how to love and for that I will be forever grateful but not good memories, quite moments alone, time, prayer, or wishing have made this day any easier.  I sure hope she knows how much I live her and how much I miss her!

Long Weekend

After having a 3 day weekend this past weekend I found myself wishing every weekend was a long weekend, it is so much easier to get things done and still enjoy time with family when you get that extra day. We had a great weekend, it started Friday night with a happy hour event with Rich's co-workers, it was a nice time and I had so much funny putting names with faces of all the people he tells stories from work about.  The kids spent the night with the grandparents and it was nice to have a few cocktails, unwind, and have adult conversation with friends. Saturday we picked up the kids, hung out at home for awhile and then took the kids up to the mall for a little shopping, mall play area time, and a kid friendly food court meal. Rich and I waited to eat and did a little mini date night at home after the kid's went to bed. That was a great time too!  Sunday we did a little cleaning, grocery shopping, and PJ at home time. Then went to my parent's house for a nice Sunday dinner. Monday Avery went to school, Rich and Jolie played a round of golf at the little executive course near our house, she got a new club Saturday at the mall so she was thrilled to try it out with her Dad, and I got to have lunch and shop with my Mom. It was amazing to have some quality time with my Mom and we got some great deals!  All in all it was a fabulous weekend and makes me want TI have three day weekends more often!  Hope yours was fabulous too!

A New Year

Just a couple of days ago we said goodbye to 2012 and hello to 2013.  Rich and I didn't have any wild NYE plans this year and even though the girls were on vacation with my parents. We did have a great time though with a great meal at home and the movie New Year's Eve.  I fell asleep early and didn't make it to midnight but in my own way I ushered Ina new year. 2012 was full of a lot of great memories for our family. Avery started preschool, Jolie gratuated VPK and started Kindergarten, Jolie lost her first tooth, Avery started talking....a ton, the girls got bigger and prettier and made their Daddy and I proud! I had a great year....started my job at Coke last January, finished an extension to the sorority house, and wonHouse Corporation award!

Now, I just have so much hope for 2013....I hope for love and peace for all of us.  I hope for the girls to be happy, have fun, and learn much. I hope for Rich and I to continue to build our relationship and find more ways to celebrate the small moments. My word of 2013 will be hope and with it I planto find myself even more in 2013. Happy New Year!

Not really MIA....

I know it appears as though I have been totally MIA but I have at least been posting on Twitter, so if you follow me there you know my life has been crazy. I have dealt with a sinkhole at my house, a crazy job, a few illnesses of the children and MIL, Jolie starting kindergarten, a crazy job, adding an addition on to the sorority house, did I mention the crazy job?  I know work isn't everything and as much as I try to stop and smell the roses I am consumed with work. I really swear I am going to change that in 2013. But we had a fabulous holiday and hope you did as well. I promise to try for more regular post, we'll see if I can do it!