Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Can you really handle all that you are given?

So I have always said "God only gives you what you can handle". I am beginning to wonder if someone lost track of all I have been given or if anyone is paying attention to all that is on my plate. This week has been a total zoo, it feels as though it should be Friday, however, news flash it is merely Tuesday and I still have three full, very busy work days left to the week. So let's recap on the crazy I have going on up in here, I know one day I will look back on this blog and be like wow, did I really complain that much?, was I really always that stressed?, did I really think it was that hard. Who knows what the answers will be but for this season in life I am going to just document the crazy and hope that one day I look back and laugh. So since Friday here is the quick recap.....

Take day off, do work in the a.m., anyways, run around, do errands, go to the worst place in America the Child Readiness Office to get VPK Certificate for Jolie, the place smells of poop and has a ton of women with their children that don't really look like they should be Moms. Grandma has surgery, we worry, she does well, spend all day at hospital.

Rich plays golf and goes to friend's house to watch Master's. I stay with kids all day, I think to self..."self would you be considered a bad person if you tell your nearly 4 year old child you have changed your name and it is no longer Mommy?". This occurs after the 1378th time it is said in the day, I do however decide that might make me a bad person and decide not to tell her that but I sure thought it. Grandma goes home, is doing okay, sore but okay.

I have to work from 10:30 am to 1:30 pm at big Bern's Wine Fest, fun but not fun...I get to hang with my friend Jenn, thank goodness. After done we walk the million mile walk to the parking garage. I go see Grandma, come home, make dinner, clean, go to bed, actually one of the best days in recent memory which might be kind of sad!

Starts early with call from MIL saying she is really sick again, Rich has FCAT starting today, can't take day off, however, arranges to leave early to take her to dr appointment, dr says she is very sick and gives a ton of medication and shots, etc. Doesn't rule out hospital stay but says not yet. My husband gets her back home and settled, runs errands for her and gets home really late but she is better. I on the other hand spend sometime and eat dinner with my Mom, Aunt, and Grandma with my girls. That was the highlight of any otherwise stressful day.

Better known as the worst day in the bunch....
Jolie is up at 4 am, so is Avery...both go back to bed til almost 7. I have to wake up Jolie, she immediately tells me her hand hurts, I look at it....appears to be a small, single line scrape on palm of left hand, I tell her she would be fine, no worries, I put on a little aquapor and send her on her way. She tells the teacher as soon as we get to school it hurts but I tell them I put a little cream on it but it is fine. My Mom picks her up about 2:30 and calls me saying she is now crying about her hand hurting and then goes on to describe something way worse than I say in the am. So I call the peditrician's office and try to describe to them....they aren't sure what it is but think I should bring her in....since I am now worried and my Mom has both children by herself I race from work to my Mom's house to get her to doctor's. My Mom is right it looks awful and Jolie is not her happy, normal self. Dr. says it is Cellulitous (not sure how to spell it) but that it is spreading, not contagious (thank God for little Avery's sake and my sanity or what is left of it). It is going up her arm because it is in her lymph nodes, gives us prescription for antibiotic, we have 24 hours for it to stop spread before we have to take her back and that is very serious, this is somewhat minor in contrast at this point. So far after a lot of whining and crying she is now happily sleep and so is Avery.....that might be a clue I should be too.... In fact I think I will and I will finish off later.....Well I left off on the post around 10 pm, now it is 2:45am and I am typing with one hand, holding a bottle with the other and pumping at the same time because after I went back to work there was no more nursing because Avery got to use to a bottle. So I put into each day the major highlights of the crazy but there was still the little things too, you know, the everyday stuff like the getting up several times a night for months on end for both children, work being busy and the pressures mounting as we prepare to hit some crazy large numbers.
It just feels as though there is too much for me to handle and it just leads me to the title of this post how do we know we can handle all we are given? Not to mention, what is the definition of handling? In my world as of late that means there will be tears involved on someone's part, possibly screaming, worry, guilt as a Mother, guilt as a wife, sleepless nights, time spent in prayer....did I handle it? I am not sure the answer but I do know I am almost full up and I sure hope someone realizes that!

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